Author: Jericho_Foehammer
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Claddagh was not a happy man.
Honestly, it had taken the better part of ten forevers to pull his group together, from all over Norrath. Good thing everyone carried those amulets that that made instantaneous communication over long distances so easy. If only there were a way to protect intellectual property rights--I could make a bloody fortune! Claddagh might have thought, were he the inventing type.
b0r0m1r had been sitting patiently, shifting back and forth, as they stared into the maw of Karnor's Castle. Damn, but elves are slow.
As if on cue, the other three zipped into view around the southwest corner of the Castle, three drolvargs hot on their trail. "TRAIN to KC! TRAIN to KC! TRAIN to KC!" shouted Leggollas as he barreled toward Claddagh. By Ymir's beard, not again, he thought. Well, at least he was better than the one from last night, Llegolas. The corpse recoveries took forever. I still have no idea how that one ended up in the lava.
Behind him, Dorfengolf and Lillianlust were making good time. Dorf was, unsurprisingly, a dwarf. Lillian, however, was the most drop-dead gorgeous barbarian avatar Claddagh had ever seen. Must be the kilt.
Anyway, Claddagh stood up with a groan and mass rooted the drolvargs, which sat there, yapping at them, "You've ruined your own lands, you'll not ruin mine!" in unison.
"Thanks, Claddagh," grumbled the dwarf. "Bloody LOTR clone ran us right through them. Last time I put him on follow."
"Lag spike," shrugged the elf.
"You want to take these guys out, or zone?" asked Lillian. She sent a /wink over to Claddagh, who /blushed back.
"Nah, screw it," said b0r0m1r, standing upright and gazing ahead. "Those guys don't drop crap."
"He's right," agreed Dorfengolf. "Besides, we're going to have to kill about a million skeletons to get a suit of Deepwater armor."
"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" grumbled Claddagh.
"Because I'm helping with your epic next week."
"Fair enough. Let's motor."
They headed into the castle vestibule, where several other groups battled pockets of drolvargs, the air filled with shouts, but not of battle. "KSing n00bs!" shouted one fellow named Drisst. "Original name, there, buddy," shouted another, whose name was Rincewindd. "LFG! LFG!" was the cry from several other parts of the Dreadlands.
Suddenly, time seemed to stop for a minute. And then, just as suddenly, it started up again. Leggollas was nowhere to be seen.
"You've gotta be kidding me," groused the dwarf. "He's not showing up on /who. He probably dropped."
"Well, just pull a mob or two. We can handle it until he gets back." b0r0m1r already had a sword out.
A gnome padded up to them. "Hey, you guys got room in your group?"
Lillian looked him over. "What do you think?"
Claddagh whispered, "Pass. This guy's a ninjalooter."
"Sorry," said Lillian, "all full."
"okthx," replied the gnome, who went off to repeat his question to another group off to the east.
Suddenly, the most dreaded three words in all of Norrath split the night.
"TRAIN TO ZONE!!!!"
Some of the adventurers fled. Everyone else watched as two guys in leather armor took off to the other entrance, a platoon of skeletons zigzagging back and forth behind them. One of the guys, a rogue from the look of him, was struck dead, falling with a thud on the cobblestones. The other vanished as he reached a certain point in the corridor, the skeletons instantly forgetting him.
Another group near them panicked and ran for the corridor, vanishing as well. The rest of the adventurers waited patiently, then watched the skeletons make their way back whence they had come, ignoring everyone else.
"We should find a cleric," said b0r0m1r.
"Nah, Claddagh's a good healer," said Lillianlust. "Not to mention, fantastic legs."
"Enough, you," said the reddening Claddagh, "Leggollas is back." Sure enough, there he was.
"Sorry, thunderstorm."
Claddagh started casting spells on the group, resting, then casting more. "Everyone buffed and ready?"
"You got it, boss."
"sow plz" The gnome was back, tugging at Claddagh's kilt.
"Uh, I don't have it."
"Yes u do," replied the gnome. "i saw u casting"
"I'm an enchanter with Illusion: Barbarian on."
"o," said the gnome, and padded off.
"Okay, pull us one of those drolvarg guards, Leggollas."
Nothing happened.
"Leggollas?" Claddagh looked over at Leggollas, who was running, full speed, into a wall.
"Bloody hell," swore the dwarf. The letters L and D appeared over Leggollas' head. "He's on a dialup, you mark my words."
Leggollas disappeared with a pop. Okay, Plan B. "You're gonna have to stun-pull, then, Dorf."
The dwarf heaved a /sigh, and let one rip. "You've ruined your own lands, you'll not ruin mine!" echoed back across the drawbridge.
"That's got him!" said b0r0m1r.
Suddenly a worldshaking voice filled the castle grounds. "All servers are coming down for emergency maintenance immediately. Please get to a safe place and camp at once. Repeat, all servers are coming down for emergency maintenance immediately. Please get to a safe place and camp at once. We apologize for any inconvenience." Claddagh smacked his forehead in disbelief.
"All right, CS in five?" said b0r0m1r, after they'd exited the castle.
"Nah, buncha spawn campers on your server," groused the dwarf, who vanished.
"Okay, same time tomorrow, then," announced Claddagh, just before the world ended.
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